Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
