I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
