so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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