It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
