I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I fill condoms, not promises.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
