At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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