Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
