he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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