I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
