Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
