I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
