There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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