I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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