So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize