I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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