By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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