As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
