so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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