the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
