Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
