i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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