i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
