his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
