you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
