So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
