So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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