you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
