Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize