Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
