I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I forgot wine drunk hurts
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
