get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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