after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
