A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There r osticjed everywhere
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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