I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize