Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i think i just lost a toe
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
