i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
