She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I could fuck to npr.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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