strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
