Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
