"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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