Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
