My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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