She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize