this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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