Grow some girl-balls and come out already
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
