My liver just broke up with me...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
