mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
