I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize