bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
