Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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