So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
