the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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