So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
