I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Randomize
