If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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