my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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