what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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