you traded sex for a burrito?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
