i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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