I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize