I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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