My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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