I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
