Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
