Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
