I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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