Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
