Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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