How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
