hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
did you just send me my own nude
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
