no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
