I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize