Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's great music for shaving your balls
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
