Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
