Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
