I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
