yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
