I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
