its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
