Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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