i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
