D3 body, D1 cock
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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