im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
