Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
