i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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