Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize